Letting It Go

Little Miss Lucy doesn’t like to sleep. She has to be encouraged to sleep every time. She never “just” falls asleep somewhere. Like playing with her toys or being held. We use all the sleep gimmicks. White noise. Sleep Sheep. Swaddle. Magic Sleep Suit (our current straight jacket method). That is a lot of S’s but still not a lot of the most important s-word, sleep. We moved her into her crib recently and it went ok. She actually is pretty good at being able to self soothe. Yet another s-word, apparently today’s post is sponsored by the letter S. I think she likes her crib, heck she must love it which is why she can’t stand the idea to close her eyes for too long when she is in it, she might miss out on seeing that awesome crib for a moment.

So little, so sleepy.

I can’t tell you how many articles I’ve read about sleep. I’ve read the book The No Cry Sleep Solution because it breaks this momma’s heart when she starts crying THAT cry. Mom’s know what I mean. I can handle the fussing cry for a bit but when she busts out the deep-take-a-breathe-cause-I’m-soooo-upset-cry I just can’t handle it. I’ve read countless articles about sleep and every theory out there. I’ve looked at things upside down and side ways. I think the day that I can say that she is officially a good sleeper it will be with more pride then the day I graduated from college. We just aren't at that day yet.

I take frequent pictures of her sleeping to remind myself it does in fact happen.

I’m a fixer by nature and I’m really notorious for having to look up and research things to death. JB3 (hubby) thinks that I’m obsessing but really it is just how I am. I once read that the motto for my astrological sign Sagittarius is “I need to understand” and man does that fit me. In all my research I have found tons of suggestions about routines and schedules and ways to help your baby to sleep. But no magic bullet. They say that all babies are different. And while I haven’t been able to find the miracle tip that will send us all into magical (and mythical in our house) deep sleeps I have learned, and am really still learning, one really valuable tip.

Let it go already.

Babies are unpredictable. That is about the most predictable thing about them. They don’t read all those books and articles that tell you how babies are or should be at each weekly growth point. They aren’t machines, they aren’t expected to act perfectly.  Even once we get sleep on track it is going to back slide at some point. That is life with a baby. It isn’t a check list of things that you get accomplished and then you get to move on without ever having to go back to that item again. The only thing I can control is how I respond to each one of these challenges. I can either try and swim upstream and fight the fact that “she’s not sleeping once again I can’t believe it” or I can go with the flow and accept that this is our place right now. It will be different from where we are a month from now, 3 months from now and a year from now. This too shall pass. Some people get caught up in making sure that the baby is reaching all the milestones at the right time. I have to admit that for the most part I don’t get caught up in that. Lucy is smart. She is strong, really strong. Takes 3 nurses to hold her down so the doctor can check her ears kind of strong. I don’t worry about the fact that she doesn’t want to roll over from back to belly. She will, she just hasn’t gotten to that point yet. Give her time, I know she can do it. That's my Lucy, she's a spirited little girl.

But yet when it comes to sleep I tend to forget this free attitude and get caught up in comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy and can really steal your moments away. I’ve given up reading sleep articles and I’m taking on an attitude of acceptance. I’ve stopped timing her sleeps and watching the video monitor like a hawk. Most nights at least. I have faith in Lucy.

Give her time, I know she can do it.

Why sleep in a crib when you have a perfectly comfortable mommy to sleep on?

I think it all can be summed up in this quote that I found some where. I tried to source it but hey I’m sleep deprived and I’m glad that I don’t find the car keys in the fridge most days. You see that is the one benefit of no sleep, you have a built in excuse for when you don’t get things right or forget something. 

Wise words from a very wise mom:

“When you are not sleeping, each day feels like an eternity and you begin to wonder if you’re going to be able to live another day with a little life-sucker attached to your chest. And you look at every mom you know with wonder and amazement and ask, “How on earth did you survive this?”

Because moms are amazing, that’s how.”

Amen to that.